Recently I was asked to speak for a women’s networking event about “Creating Connections on Purpose for Profit.” We asked each of the twenty or so attendees to answer this question Continue reading
“How do you feel about that?”
I was reviewing my week’s accomplishments on our weekly Friday call when, June, my accountability buddy, asked the question. Continue reading
People often ask me about how I use social media and whether it helps my business. I’m not an expert on the top but am certainly an enthusiast. Recently I was asked to participate on a panel for the network of Over 40 Females to discuss the topic. Here are some of the tips I shared. Continue reading
Have you ever wanted to be a movie star? Or feel like one for a day?
Recently I had a video shoot for a new demo to promote my speaking business. I felt like a star! I was in hair and makeup a 7:00am. I like the sound of that. “I’m going to hair and makeup!” Continue reading
Can you believe I’ve been in the speaking business for over twenty years now? Yesterday, talking with a friend who has been doing this even longer prompted me to do the math. I started training for the Liz Claiborne company about 1989. Within a few years I was on my own as an independent corporate trainer. With that I began doing keynotes, conference breakout sessions and speaking for non-profit groups and associations. Continue reading
(This blog is an excerpt from my program on “Networking to Build a Book Platform” for a Memoir Writing Workshop with Ronda Rich on September 14, 2013)
What is networking? Webster’s Dictionary defined networking as, “the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically : the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business.” Two key words to note here. “Exchange.” Networking has give and take. “Relationships.” Networking is about building relationships. Before we go on let’s look at what networking is not. Continue reading
The internet is burning up with video of Miss Utah stumbling through the interview portion of this year’s Miss USA contest. The question, posed by contest judge NeNe Leakes was, “A recent report shows that in 40% of American families with children women are the primary earners yet they continue to earn less than men. What does this say about society?”
Miss Utah flashed a big beauty contest smile and started, “I think we can relate this back to education and how we are continuing to try to strive…to…” You can see the panic in her eyes as she flashes another smile and realizes she doesn’t know where to go with this answer. Then she continues, “Figure out how to create jobs right now. That is the biggest problem and I think especially the men are seen as the leaders of this and so we need to figure out how to create education better so we can solve this problem.”
Winning third runner-up anyway; she got a second chance at the question on The Today Show. “It’s not OK,” she said. “It needs to be equal pay for equal work and it’s hard enough already to earn a living and it shouldn’t be harder just because you’re a woman.” Matt Lauer applauded.
First, let’s give her a break! She’s a 21-year-old singer, model and actress who most likely never had to think much about inequity in pay. Many 31, 41 and 51-year-olds in the workforce probably couldn’t answer the question either.
What does the inequity in pay say about society? It says that we don’t value women’s work as much as we value men’s work. Ouch!
We prefer to explain the pay inequity by saying that many women work part time or that women take time out for childrearing and that skews the statistics to show that women’s pay is lower. Yet research shows that in the same jobs for the same companies women are often paid less than men.
Saying, “we have to pay men more because they have families” sounds like something from an episode of Mad Men but just last year many women participating in a class action suit against one of the country’s largest employers testified that’s what they’d been told.
This class action lawsuit was brought by 1.5 million women who claimed that Walmart systemically promoted and gave raises to men over women. It was dismissed by the Supreme Court—not won—just dismissed. They ruled that the group was too large and diverse to be considered a ‘class.’
Miss Utah was actually right the first time. This relates back to education.
Education for companies. During the years leading up the dismissal of their lawsuit, Walmart got educated. They learned from their mistake and quickly hired female executives, promoted women and got involved in women’s initiatives across the country.
Education for women. Statistics show that women don’t negotiate as well as men for salaries, raises and promotions. Many books like Sheryl Sandberg’s recent bestseller, “Lean In” are available for women to educate themselves on workplace inequities and how to handle them.
Education for men. As Miss Utah said, “they are the leaders” (in most companies anyway) and they need to be educated as to how to ensure equitable pay and opportunities at all levels of their companies.
Education for society. Men and women are different. And that’s a good thing! But pay should be determined by job requirements, performance and results. Not gender. As a society, when we value woman equally to men, we will not pay them less.
Often when I speak for a group in a conference break-out session or at an association meeting, someone will talk to me afterward and tell me that while their job is going well they long to do work that’s more meaningful. Sometimes they say they are searching for their life’s purpose.
It’s that old question of the meaning of life but with a more personal focus. Why am I here? What is my life supposed to be about? Usually that’s tied to our spiritual beliefs and the desire for significance that’s bigger than ourselves and our ‘right now’ lives.
The definition of purpose has three parts. First it is a reason for existence. The “why” something came into being or was created. Secondly it’s a desired effect or result you want it to achieve. The goal or intended outcome. Thirdly it is determination. The desire or resolve necessary to accomplish a goal, like to act with purpose.
So ‘purpose’ is more than a big, overarching goal. It’s the reason for the goal, the goal and the focused desire to achieve that goal.
To work ‘with purpose’ you need to know what you want, know why you want it and be determined to get it. Lack any of these three parts and it’s difficult to stay focused and motivated.
I find this search for purpose common in people who are at or near the mid-point in their career. In the early years we’re focused on building a career, working our way up the ladder, finding work that pays well and uses our talents and education. After a few years of working our way up and establishing ourselves in our careers we began to want more. We want significance. To feel that we’re making a difference. To feel that we’re having an impact on something or someone greater than ourselves.
I, like many of these audience members have had times in my life when I wanted someone to tell me what my real purpose was. Maybe a spiritual guru, fortune teller or sage on the mountain top could wave his arm, blink his eyes and part the clouds. A loud James Earl Jones type voice from the sky would proclaim, “This is your purpose! This is what you were put on earth to do! I now anoint you! Go forth and be amazing!” Never happened. I read the books. I took the seminars. I completed the assessments. I’ve paid career counselors, success coaches, psychics and astrologers. I’ve consulted wise old souls and a few wind-bags who were full of crap.
Here’s what I’ve learned. Stop looking for the “THE PURPOSE” of your life and start living the life you have with purpose. Right here. Right now. Right where you are.
Enjoy Life and Do Good! 